15 Classic Dad Jokes That Never Get Old

Dad jokes: you either love them or you groan at them. These 15 dad jokes are so cheesy and corny that they loop back around to being hilarious. From puns that make you facepalm to one-liners that get an eye-roll, these jokes are perfect for dads who love making their kids (and themselves) laugh. Brace yourself, the dad humor is coming! AUTHOR: Ree Winter

1. Hippo or Zippo

hippo-and-zippo — Image Credit: Shutterstock

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter." I personally love puns like these that have double meanings. They will most likely produce a groan rather than a laugh, but this means you know the listener gets it and your mission is complete.

2. A Blind Man's Bar

"A blind man walks into a bar. And a chair. And a table." This offering is a classic take on a "walks into a bar" joke with puns included, which goes hand-in-hand with a good dad joke.

3. A Termite Problem

"A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here"?" This is one of those jokes you may have to think of for a moment before you have the "oh no, that's terrible" moment. You just have to ask yourself what termites enjoy eating...get it?

4. My Grandfather's Heart

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo." According to one poster, Stephen King said a similar joke during an interview — "People think I'm this scary guy, but really I have the heart of a small boy — I keep it in a jar on my desk."

5. Ants are Amazing

"Ants are amazing creatures. Did you know viruses can't spread throughout an ant colony? It's because of all the little anty bodies."

6. Dyslexia

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra." Dyslexia can be an issue when you're at school, making spelling mistakes and having trouble reading the words the right way around. However, sometimes, it's fun to see things from a different perspective.

7. Biblical Quotes

"And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth and got a toaster." Typical, all the good prizes are gone already. So what did first, second, and third place get?

8. Ant Gender

"How do you tell the gender of an ant? Throw it in water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant, but if it floats, it's a buoyant." I don't think the ants would be too happy about this method.

9. Owls, Pianos, and Fish.

"What's the difference between an owl, a piano, and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish." This joke created a dilemma for some people on the forum because the answer did not mention the owl. When asked about it, the original poster asked, "Who?"

10. The Symptoms

"A man goes to the doctor and says, "I think I have hearing problems" Doctor: Can you describe the symptoms? Man: Sure! Homer is fat, and Marge has blue hair." Is this an actual joke or taken from a real-life situation? Either way, it made me laugh.

11. The Difference Between Two Cities

"What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People from Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do." Has that ever run through your mind when you see the city mentioned? I know I've thought it; I've never heard it done as well as this joke, though.

12. Nordic Countries are Efficient

"Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on their side? So that they can Scandinavian." That makes perfect sense to me! Perhaps more countries need to do this.

13. Police Investigation

"Someone stole all the toilets from the police station. So the police have nothing to go on." Well, that is a dilemma in more ways than one.

14. My Grandfather

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car." Another person added, "My grandpa passed away recently because none of us knew his blood type. He kept telling us all to be positive in the lead-up to his last breath. I'm trying, Grandpa!"

15. The Bear Necessities

"A bear walks into a bar and says, "Can I have a...Coke?" Bartender says, "What's with the big pause?" Bear says, "I don't know; I was born with them." Now that's bearable.

Source: Reddit.